Sonata Arctica - Tallulah

Remember when we used to look how sun set far away'
And how you said: "this is never over"
I believed your every word and I quess you did too
But now you're saying : "hey, let's think this over"

You take My hand and pull me next to you, so close to you
I have a feeling you don't have the words
I found one for you, kiss your cheak, say bye, and walk away
Don't look back cause I am crying

I remember little things, you hardly ever do
Tell me why.
I don't know why it's over
I remember shooting stars, the walk we took that night
I hope your wish came true, mine betrayed me

You let my hand go, and you fake a smile for me
I have a feeling you don't know what to do
I look deep in your eyes, hesitate a while...
Why are you crying'

Tallulah, It's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me ,oh, Tallulah,
This could be... heaven

I see you walking hand in hand with long-haired drummer of the band
In love with her or so it seems, he's dancing with my beauty queen
Don't even dare to say you hi, still swallowing the goodbye
But I know the feelings still alive- still alive

I lost my patience once, so do you punish me now
I'll always love you, no matter what you do
I'll win you back for me if you give me a chance
But there is one thing you must understand

Tallulah, It's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me ,oh, Tallulah,
This could be... heaven

Here I am. Woke up not too long ago (at slightly past 10, surprise). After reading through the other blogs that I read, most of them have some kind of deep, heartfelt reflection things going on. If you've been a regular reader (even if you aren't, keep it to yourself), you'd notice that I have a distinct lack of such entries. I don't know why. I suppose I'm not comfortable with letting people know my state of mind. I don't want people to worry about me. Most of all, I don't want people to get down after reading some reflective stuff that I do write sometimes (case in point my deleted entry a couple days ago). I'd much rather put up a nice cheery entry, and make someone's day brighter rather than depress them further with the knowledge that yet another friend is feeling down.

Maybe it's because it doesn't feel very sincere to me. Whatever I write down here self reflection wise just doesn't feel real to me. Same deal with commenting on enetation. I start writing comments for other people's lengthy self-reflective entries, then halfway through I suddenly feel that it just doesn't express what I really want to say. So I click back and feel guilty that I can't tell or help advise the person the best way I can. Things like that I need to do in private, rather than air it out to the world. I really don't understand why.

I don't want to throw up some random feelings that make this blog seem like an outlet for angst. Even when I'm feeling moody there's no way that I can remember everything that I want to write, and therein is the problem. I never like to feel that I've done a halfassed job. Doesn't really help that I'm kind of forgetful. I never really liked to follow the crowd, just because some people are writing about how things have changed their lives or their life philosophy - hang out around me enough and you'll know what that very philosophy is. For me, it's more like I prefer to keep any private reflections just that - private.

I'm one of those kind of people who prefers to sit in the corner, stone, and think about things. Rather than write everything down. Not only do I forget some things, but in writing you're forced to put things down just one way. Thinking about it allows me to put across more abstract concepts that can't really be put down in writing. I'm sorry to disappoint people who want to read deep entries about how I've grown and what I've learnt as a person, but for the time I prefer to stare at a point in space and do my thinking there. I'm just not comfortable with people reading some entries of mine, and in comments write things that I'd already know. That's why it doesn't feel very right for me. I apologise for disappointing some people.

Tallulah, It's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me ,oh, Tallulah, this could be... heaven

Those of you who'd checked here about a day ago would have seen a nice long lengthy rant. I just removed it cause I was feeling bad about it, and as such I'll try not to depress all of you.

Just had my CCC exam today, most of the worrying and panicking paid off, I guess. Went straight home cause I was (and still am) feeling a little sick. Have a good one.

Remind me to go for psychiatric therapy when everything's all over and done with.

Got up early at the crack of dawn (actually more like 9.00) to go film at Chinatown today. Then received message from Siwei, says to meet later. I go back to sleep. Wake up again, and rush out of the house, but was still 20 minutes late. Doh! Went filming at Chinatown (like I said) and wandered around trying to find the street. Siwei decided we needed an aerial shot, and so we went to the 24th floor of some block of flats nearby and filmed. I could barely look over the edge without feeling a wobble in my knees and fear in my throat.

Yes, I have a fear of heights. Ironic, isn't it? So, we film for about 3 hours, we walk, and walk, and walk (and also, we walked). I dunno about Wei but my legs seriously ache. Also, by some cosmic coincidence we bump into Liling in Chinatown, also filming, and Lynnette + boyfriend at Raffles City. Left them alone and went over to Sim Lim on my regular recon run, checking prices of computer parts. =p I want to get a DVD rom. Only $70, but I think I can bargain down to $55 or $60.

Bleah, who am I kidding. Money's money. But hey, at least my birthday's coming soon. HINT HINT. =D

"45% of the people in the world randomly make up statistics."