Muffled words and banging on the door. I looked up just in time to see Mary barge in, her lips moving. I slipped the headphones off, and it was just like turning the mute button off in the middle of a song. It went on at full force, and if you weren't ready for it... She made the usual noise about jobs going nowhere, and my uselessness as a human being. I replied when I had to, nodded at opportune moments, and Mary finally left.

I never called her Mum.

Looking over at the clock, I decided it was time for bed. As I stripped off my clothes to go shower I glanced in the mirror. I stared through myself, barely registering how long it'd been since I shaved, my unkempt features, the untidy mop I kept on my head. Some people called this scruffy. I just called it me. I climbed into bed and slipped off into limbo, dreaming of screaming people and clashing cymbals.

It was the weekend, so I was meeting the guys for the usual jam. Our bassist had to work today, so we'd just have to do without him. It didn't matter, the only thing that did was the Music. I didn't know how to describe it to others. Not that I wanted to. The Music was sacred to me, it was my religion. As long as I held onto it - it would never let me down. I think - I think that's what others call faith. I didn't know about that stuff. I just played. My sole enjoyment in life was just to hear, to create, to experience - the Music; it was just the melding of the sounds, nothing was more magical to me that that.

My fingers danced over the strings as the drummer's sticks rapped their tune. Our other guitarist wasn't that good yet but he'd been getting better. I could see it in him too, Music was his life too. I admired that. But I wanted nothing more than to share my Music with others as well. I wanted most to be on that stage, any stage, if only to share what I had. For others to love Music as well. I wanted to perform.

I dreamt of flashing lights and thundering bass. I yearned for blinding lights and a deafening roar. I longed for electricity in my veins and echoes in my soul. It was just unfortunate that everything else got in the way. We stopped practice for the day, and we split up for the day.