Ever had those moments of abject clarity? What's really important in this life? Material goods don't last and money, well, why be the richest stiff in the graveyard? Sometimes I wonder whether or not I'm at all ready for the next phase of life. Still so bloody naive. Don't know a damn thing, except how to be a drain on my loved ones. The past few weeks have been battering on my self esteem, till the point it seems like pre-poly days.
What's it all about? I'm sorry I've let so many people down recently. I've been selfish lately to my poor kitten. Illusions of grandeur? Sometimes I wonder. She's slogging away at a shitty job and nothing I have done can compare to what she's done and been through. Do I deserve anything I have at all? What have I done, really?
I still love her to bits though. And I'm resolving to do whatever I can to show her that I do.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Weary but still standing.
Navy's been wearing thin on me recently. Moved out of Sembawang Camp over to Changi Naval Training Base. It's a lot different, nice sea view, but maybe we'd enjoy it more if we didn't have to shift all the furniture in. In the meantime I get to stay out, at least until the cabins are 100% (or maybe just 80%, because the SAF doesn't really care) ready.
Need to resume my driving, before my enrolment at SSDC runs out and I waste everything. It'd really be nice to drive once in a while, so I hope my parents don't use the car so often. Heh. Also need to change my PS2 mod chip. So many games I could play but can't right now. Maybe when I'm on vocation and I get to come home more regularly. Also need: MP3 player. Too much music wasted just sitting on my computer. =p I always find it too quiet going anywhere, or when I'm alone, music (especially my kind of music) zones me into that special place, something like that hard to reach area behind your back. I've been late for many things just because I had to finish listening to a particular song that happened to be playing. Ergo, I'm a freak. But I bet you knew that already.
Thoughts pervade my mind about the future now. Yes, I offer nothing new and original in my blog posts, deal with it. No matter how boring or dry a topic might be, some things you just can't run away from. I just pray that I'll get a good enough job to sustain a family and live comfortably. I don't need fancy gadgets like the latest plasma screen TV or for everything to be so wireless that my house becomes a sterile zone, as long as it functions and fulfills its purpose I'm content.
I haven't had the time to write (in my head, I'm even lazy enough not to type or write things down, which pretty much contributes to the sparseness of this blog). Recently went to the Pasir Ris beach, and phwoar. My mind doth runneth over. It's such a perfect setting and a place to review, rewind and reflect. Maybe when things tone down I'll write on my blog some more. There's no criticism like criticism from total strangers who have no emotional attachment to you. Well, it'd work in theory, since no one besides my circle of friends actually goes to this blog. Har.
I LOVE NAVY (add sarcasm where appropriate)
Navy's been wearing thin on me recently. Moved out of Sembawang Camp over to Changi Naval Training Base. It's a lot different, nice sea view, but maybe we'd enjoy it more if we didn't have to shift all the furniture in. In the meantime I get to stay out, at least until the cabins are 100% (or maybe just 80%, because the SAF doesn't really care) ready.
Need to resume my driving, before my enrolment at SSDC runs out and I waste everything. It'd really be nice to drive once in a while, so I hope my parents don't use the car so often. Heh. Also need to change my PS2 mod chip. So many games I could play but can't right now. Maybe when I'm on vocation and I get to come home more regularly. Also need: MP3 player. Too much music wasted just sitting on my computer. =p I always find it too quiet going anywhere, or when I'm alone, music (especially my kind of music) zones me into that special place, something like that hard to reach area behind your back. I've been late for many things just because I had to finish listening to a particular song that happened to be playing. Ergo, I'm a freak. But I bet you knew that already.
Thoughts pervade my mind about the future now. Yes, I offer nothing new and original in my blog posts, deal with it. No matter how boring or dry a topic might be, some things you just can't run away from. I just pray that I'll get a good enough job to sustain a family and live comfortably. I don't need fancy gadgets like the latest plasma screen TV or for everything to be so wireless that my house becomes a sterile zone, as long as it functions and fulfills its purpose I'm content.
I haven't had the time to write (in my head, I'm even lazy enough not to type or write things down, which pretty much contributes to the sparseness of this blog). Recently went to the Pasir Ris beach, and phwoar. My mind doth runneth over. It's such a perfect setting and a place to review, rewind and reflect. Maybe when things tone down I'll write on my blog some more. There's no criticism like criticism from total strangers who have no emotional attachment to you. Well, it'd work in theory, since no one besides my circle of friends actually goes to this blog. Har.
I LOVE NAVY (add sarcasm where appropriate)
